Hope For Common Marriage Problems

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-husband-apologizing-to-wife-image23695171The expectations are certainly high when two people get married. With the excitement of the wedding planning, the wedding day, the honeymoon and many other things can soon give way to worries, fights about money, struggles with jobs, communication problems, and other common marriage problems.

And when children are inserted into the mix, then you have an entirely new set of challenges for which most are not at all prepared. To use an overused cliche, the couple finds out soon that everything is not always smooth sailing. Yes, even those of us who have beee married for a long time (almost 25 years for me), can hit rough patches in their relationships that can put the marriage to the test. Couples should make themselves aware of these issues before they marry, but, unfortunately, many do not. Hopefully, we will encourage you and your spouse. Let’s take a look at a list of Common Marriage problems

1. Proper communication is one of the largest issues a couple with which a couple will struggle. When a husband and wife cannot talk about problems and everyday things in an effective manner, they soon begin to argue and be upset with each other. Although important to work on as a part of any efforts to save a marriage, relationship expert, Dr. Lee Baucom, points out that an unbalanced focus on communication can slow down or derail the marriage healing process. Communication is important, but what and how the person communicates can be more important.  The skill of not only communicating, but effectively communicating the proper words and concepts is one of the most valuable assets a couple can have to make their marriage a success.

2. Couples do not set aside a proper amount of time to spend alone together each week each day when possible. Shut the outside world out of their lives, and let it only be about their relationship for a while. This can be for an evening, a night, or sometimes a weekend. When couples fail to do this, one or both of them can eventually feel alone unappreciated, and misunderstood. An atmosphere of consistent misunderstanding with a couple is a relationship killer. This can even make even the lesser problems become more difficult and harder to solve than they should be. Even after children come along…..especially after children come along – a couple should be diligent to schedule special times and commit that those times will be a priority.

3. Financial problems can put a strain on a marriage and actually make other marriage problems worse. There are times when one or both partnershttp://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-desperate-couple-calculating-their-domestic-bills-image18107030 will lose a job, suffer an illness or other issue that keeps them from bringing in the amount of needed income. It is difficult to pay the bills and  the stress on a couple can be overwhelming. It is in those times that a couple must focus with intensity on keeping unity as a couple and focusing on the problems as a team.

4. Abuse, whether mentally, emotionally, or physically are issues that are destroyers of marriages. If a spouse is in physical danger, they should immediately seek help and shelter with a friend or family. Sometimes, though, the abuse can be emotionally or mentally. A husband or wife can be guilty of this. More than we know it many women, and men  are miserable from being verbally abused by their spouse. No, it’s not abuse that will leave a bruise or a mark outwardly, but over time, the wounds on the inside have become so deep that it sometimes makes them difficult to heal. .

5. Sexual problems are difficulties issue for couples to work through in their marriage. One partner may have sexual needs the other one does not share. One partner, many times the male, desires a greater frequency of sexual activity, while the female may feel that her emotional needs are being unmet. This should be dealt with in an effective manner or both partners will be emotional and sexually affected. This could lead them to the next problem on the list. At the root, most marriage problems are not caused by what happens in the bedroom, but if there are difficulties in that area, it can really make it worse.

6. Infidelity is when one or both partners turn to other people outside the marriage for a physical and sometimes emotional relationship. This has ruined many marriages throughout the years. It breaks the trust between the couple. Sometimes this trust can never be rebuilt. The pain and heartache of an affair remain for such a long time. Yes, many couples do survive this pain, work though the hurt, and rebuild the marriage. However, the pain of an extramarital affair is one that no spouse should suffer.

Remember this. Although the divorce rate is high, most marriages can be saved when both individuals are completely committed to following the steps and principles required to make the relationship work.  

You can save your marriage, have a healthy relationship, and work toward getting the magic back. Believe it or not, after marriage problems are faced head on, couples may find a depth of intimacy they have never known before –  a real flame, that when fanned, can stay with them through the remainder of their lives. 

 

 

 

 


Worship Pastor, Educational Leader. Husband, Father, and lover of God.

7 Responses to “Hope For Common Marriage Problems”

  1. ed pierce says:

    It is good to see communication right up there at number one. It is so important that couples not only communicate, but communicate well.

    • Thanks, Ed. We do want to see communication well up at the top. But, we want to see the proper communication taught. Some counselors may be able the get the couples to talke more, but don’t teach them how to do it in a way that is not condescending. Therefore, it just makes them more articulate in the way they argue…but here’s hoping that more and more people will find the type of counseling information that is truly helpful to their circumstances. Thanks for commenting.

    • Dema says:

      I agree that communication is right at the top, but I agree with the point that it has to be good communication. My wife and I can communicate really well while we are yelling at one another, but that doesn’t do any good!

      • B.G. says:

        Haha, that is very true. You can really say some try things to your husband and wife while your raising your voice or even screaming at them. And sometimes what is coming out is actually true, but truth communicated in a poor way is still terrible communication. We have to learn to talk to each other reasonably.

  2. aubree says:

    After we had our two children, date night was put on the back burner. Actually it was taken completely off the stove. It seems that all we do now is work and take care of our family. Do you have any tips on how to create that date night feeling again? I know it will be a struggle but everything good is worth the work right?

    • Brian says:

      Thanks, Ed. One of Dr. Baucom’s primary teaching is that communication is important, however, if all of the other issues aren’t taken care of, then the couple will just communicate their complaints in a more articulate way and cause further disagreements.

    • Brian says:

      aubree,
      I know that my wife and I have to be intentional about planning. We have to say we are going to place x and one date x, put it on the calendar and don’t let anything hinder it. A lot of times we will just wait until the weekend and say, hey we’re going to do something without any really planning, then we will take the easy road and stay at home and watch a movie or something. Not that staying at home and watching movies is all bad. It’s very good sometimes, but those special dates that we need, we have to plan those ahead and stick to them. Of course there are those time that you may want to do something spontaneous as well. The point is that you just do them.

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