In today’s society you can pretty much get a divorce at will. However, there is quite a bit of debate among all sorts of people groups and different religions as to what actually constitutes true grounds for divorce. We’re not going to debate that here, but let’s talk about some of the common reasons for divorce among couples.
The breakup of a marriage usually comes after a long struggle with one or more problems that make it seem impossible to stay together. Certainly every couple goes through ups and downs in their relationship, but some problems go beyond that and create such conflict that many times are not reconcilced. On this website, we believe that many more marriages could be saved if given the right and proper help. But just what are some of the top reasons for divorce? Well, here are just a few.
Many people, including happily married couples, have disagreements about finances. Couples many times will not budget their money correctly, then they will have troubles paying bills which causes more and more tension with the couple. Financial disagreements range from small issues to large ones. Usually there are other underlying issues not being confronted and money becomes the issue that puts the marriage over the edge.
Good communication is necessary for a healthy marriage. If communication breaks down or is never really there to begin with, it becomes an issue that leads couples into counseling if they choose to go. Good communication doesn’t always mean agreeing. Certainly no two people are going to agree all of the time. Good communication means discussing issues of disagreement and learning to find a middle ground through compromising to create a balance. However, leaning to communicate well is not a cure all for marriage problems. Many think that if a couple can just learn to communicate well, then their marriage will get better. See our home page for more on this. While it is true that good communication is a key to a good marriage, it has to be the proper communication, using respect and without condescension. Failure to learn this skill is one of the top reasons for divorce.
One of the top reasons for divorce is one or both spouses having one or more affairs. Marriage vows usually include a vow to remain faithful for life and couples assume at the outset that this vow will be honored. When it isn’t, trust is broken. It is true that many couples work hard and survive an affair. Some couples get past it and strengthen their marriages. However, many couples that do survive the affair may retain a distrust that eventually resurfaces to cause problems. Staying true to your spouse is obviously the best way to never have to face the emotional crisis of infidelity.
It seems hard to believe that abuse one be on of the top reasons for divorce. The abuser can be the husband or the wife and sometimes both. Some forms of abuse are more obvious than others. Physical abuse in the form of beatings is often noticed by others. Other forms of abuse are more hidden but can cause tremendous damage. Verbal abuse is seen by others when it is public but it is often private so the damage is harder to document. Emotional and mental abuse is usually private. Sexual abuse is devastating and the effects can be long lasting. It is not any wonder this is one of the top reasons for divorce.
As one of the top reasons for divorce, religious and cultural difference are one of the most complicated. It’s tough when a couple comes to the place in their marriage when they realize that their core beliefs, values, or culture is not shared with their spouse as they would want it to be. Sometimes the religion and cultural difference were talked about honestly before the wedding and seemingly settled. However, some there are times when other problems later develop and religion and culture got the blame. In other cases, even if a productive and agreeable discussion took place beforehand. and it was decided the differences didn’t really matter, one or both partners discover later that those differences mattered more than they realized. This is especially true when one of the couple later becomes more involved religiously or culturally than they were before the marriage.
Addiction is not only one of the top reasons for divorce but it is also one of the most destructive. Entire families can be destroyed by addiction if the addicted spouse will not get professional help as soon as the addiction is realized. Even then, it is sometimes too late to minimize the damage enough to keep the marriage and family intact. Sometimes divorce is necessary for the sake of the family. This can apply to social drinker who eventually turns into an alcoholic or someone who abuses various types of narcotics.
There are many other reasons that could cause a couple to get a divorce. However, many, including some of these listed here can certainly be overcome and the marriage be saved. Get the help when you need it and fight to keep your marriage if at all possible.